








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 483 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 449 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4513 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6631 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4565 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3055 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,103 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Diablond_ | 41% | 197 |
| #3 | Thanators | 40% | 218 |
| #4 | ForeverStun | 40% | 169 |
| #5 | Silaise | 38% | 154 |
| #6 | Jew Manji | 35% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diablond_ | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Thanators | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | ForeverStun | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Silaise | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Jew Manji | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diablond_ | 422 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | ForeverStun | 319 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Thanators | 191 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jew Manji | 144 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Silaise | 127 | 0.04 | 3 min |





