








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 134 | 10% |
| Smokes | 152 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 536 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 501 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,221 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jew Manji | 30% | 74 |
| #5 | ForeverStun | 25% | 16 |
| #6 | Silaise | 23% | 13 |
| #7 | KryTiZz | 13% | 16 |
| #8 | Thanators | 0% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jew Manji | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Diablond_ | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | KryTiZz | 2 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Mazenta | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Thanators | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jew Manji | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Diablond_ | 60 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | KryTiZz | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ForeverStun | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mazenta | 23 | 0.02 | 1 min |





