








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 992 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1819 | 11% |
| Smokes | 5141 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4883 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5021 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,096 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jew Manji | 44% | 224 |
| #2 | ForeverStun | 43% | 334 |
| #3 | Thanators | 43% | 262 |
| #4 | Diablond_ | 41% | 187 |
| #5 | KryTiZz | 38% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Thanators | 43% | 262 |
| #4 | Diablond_ | 41% | 187 |
| #5 | KryTiZz | 38% | 154 |
| #6 | Jean-Bernie | 32% | 28 |
| #7 | A Silly Raccoon | 26% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diablond_ | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ForeverStun | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Thanators | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Jew Manji | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | KryTiZz | 7 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForeverStun | 628 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #2 | KryTiZz | 493 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Diablond_ | 428 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Jew Manji | 221 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Thanators | 190 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silaise | +2.18 | 63 | 55 |
| #2 | ForeverStun | +0.64 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | Thanators | -1.44 | 61 | 47 |
| #4 | Jew Manji | -1.46 | 45 | 43 |
| #5 | A Silly Raccoon | -1.76 | 61 | 60 |





