








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 711 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 529 matches | ||
| Faceit | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14243 | 34% |
| Smokes | 12420 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8542 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6113 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,814 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1033 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Shubenator | 51% | 53 |
| #8 | AAABAAAJSS | 50% | 162 |
| #9 | BooskiBro | 48% | 166 |
| #10 | Lou Sputthole | 47% | 296 |
| #11 | hotdog | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | irish | 1829 | 0.22 | 35 min |
| #2 | Lou Sputthole | 634 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | BooskiBro | 629 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #4 | sauce | 516 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #5 | 2step | 393 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | essentially ape | +2.24 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | BooskiBro | +1.66 | 57 | 77 |
| #3 | sauce | +0.98 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | 2step | +0.96 | 84 | 50 |
| #5 | Lag | +0.43 | 64 | 61 |





