










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2903 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4910 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3868 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4379 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,117 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AubSauce | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | sauce | 53% | 100 |
| #3 | irish | 52% | 67 |
| #4 | Lag | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | BABS4088 | 50% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | BooskiBro | 45% | 205 |
| #11 | 2step | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | Lou Sputthole | 44% | 281 |
| #13 | Seff | 31% | 29 |
| #14 | Deathmegatron500 | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lou Sputthole | 20 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | BooskiBro | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | sauce | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | BABS4088 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | irish | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BooskiBro | 776 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | essentially ape | 748 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | Lou Sputthole | 616 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | sauce | 304 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | irish | 262 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | essentially ape | +3.35 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | 2step | +2.42 | 84 | 51 |
| #3 | BooskiBro | +2.32 | 59 | 75 |
| #4 | sauce | +1.69 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | Lag | +1.65 | 65 | 55 |





