








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 921 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 220 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3691 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3421 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1939 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3546 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,624,179 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaestrO | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | dv8 | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Yakub | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | 7o | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | M0B | 53% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ScoobX | 52% | 63 |
| #7 | Egahn | 51% | 45 |
| #8 | ꜱʟɪɴᴋ | 51% | 69 |
| #9 | L1nk | 50% | 42 |
| #10 | JeffLaFlavor | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7o | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ꜱʟɪɴᴋ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | MaestrO | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | M0B | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | JeffLaFlavor | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0B | 416 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | L1nk | 364 | 0.39 | 11 min |
| #3 | Egahn | 313 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #4 | ScoobX | 227 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | JeffLaFlavor | 177 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaestrO | +2.67 | 79 | 84 |
| #2 | ꜱʟɪɴᴋ | +2.22 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | dv8 | +1.85 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | JeffLaFlavor | +0.92 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | 7o | +0.81 | 84 | 52 |





