








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 262 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4347 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4435 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2191 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3248 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,199,528 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ꜱʟɪɴᴋ | 53% | 72 |
| #2 | ./ BurneyProMod | 53% | 93 |
| #3 | ScoobX | 53% | 78 |
| #4 | 7o | 52% | 79 |
| #5 | Yakub | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 7o | 52% | 79 |
| #5 | Yakub | 52% | 66 |
| #6 | dv8 | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | mako | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | Xion- | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7o | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ./ BurneyProMod | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ꜱʟɪɴᴋ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | mako | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Yakub | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ./ BurneyProMod | 296 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | ScoobX | 294 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | 7o | 205 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | ꜱʟɪɴᴋ | 186 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | mako | 136 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ꜱʟɪɴᴋ | +2.29 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | dv8 | +1.43 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | Yakub | +1.14 | 82 | 45 |
| #4 | 7o | +0.47 | 84 | 55 |
| #5 | Xion- | +0.44 | 73 | 63 |





