








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1640 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2783 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2332 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1324 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2196 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,331,835 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1018 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Temp0h | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | awp god | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | m0cka | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | FourArc | 56% | 145 |
| #5 | Veteran Bot | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cwack addict >o< | 17 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | guccispeed | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | FourArc | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Eepy Boi | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | RPmx | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minti | 314 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | guccispeed | 223 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | FourArc | 190 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | cwack addict >o< | 156 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Temp0h | 143 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pibble | +4.85 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | Temp0h | +3.51 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | FourArc | +2.98 | 91 | 52 |
| #4 | Veteran Bot | +1.85 | 66 | 52 |
| #5 | m0cka | +1.20 | 84 | 22 |





