








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




186 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 558 | 14% |
| Smokes | 606 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2442 | 61% |
| Molotovs | 421 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,303,973 of utility $313 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HyperMachines | 107 | 0.0204 |
| #2 | TaktischesGenie | 83 | 0.0213 |
| #3 | guccispeed | 24 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | cwack addict >o< | 13 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | FourArc | 9 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pibble | 243 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | guccispeed | 208 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Minti | 202 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | TaktischesGenie | 118 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | HyperMachines | 113 | 0.02 | 2 min |





