








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1094 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5546 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4139 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3511 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5010 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,748,916 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryn | 69% | 70 |
| #2 | lalios | 65% | 49 |
| #3 | Jnasty | 62% | 127 |
| #4 | Jervah | 60% | 35 |
| #5 | Royal Guard | 60% | 45 |





