








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 869 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12124 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7364 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7991 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5573 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,668 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1029 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7am | 61% | 59 |
| #2 | Pwasonce | 58% | 97 |
| #3 | astro | 56% | 59 |
| #4 | MaccA | 52% | 293 |
| #5 | Tickle My Gooch | 51% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tickle My Gooch | 51% | 97 |
| #6 | stoooj | 50% | 146 |
| #7 | barbell connoisseur | 49% | 489 |
| #8 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 48% | 238 |
| #9 | W1tcheR | 48% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barbell connoisseur | 33 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | W1tcheR | 29 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Pwasonce | 22 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | MaccA | 19 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 19 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaccA | 1430 | 0.22 | 38 min |
| #2 | barbell connoisseur | 1082 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | Tickle My Gooch | 510 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #4 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 349 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | W1tcheR | 341 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7am | +5.10 | 92 | 55 |
| #2 | MaccA | +2.43 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | W1tcheR | +2.27 | 86 | 60 |
| #4 | stoooj | +1.70 | 63 | 42 |
| #5 | Pwasonce | +1.62 | 69 | 51 |





