








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 329 matches | ||
| Faceit | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10700 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8852 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6135 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6701 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,649,213 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 695 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tickle My Gooch | 63% | 76 |
| #2 | stoooj | 56% | 226 |
| #3 | barbell connoisseur | 53% | 342 |
| #4 | Pwasonce | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | W1tcheR | 52% | 246 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pwasonce | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | W1tcheR | 52% | 246 |
| #6 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 52% | 229 |
| #7 | CobraDevil | 52% | 293 |
| #8 | astro | 49% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CobraDevil | 26 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | W1tcheR | 23 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 22 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | barbell connoisseur | 21 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Pwasonce | 16 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CobraDevil | 1135 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | barbell connoisseur | 842 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | Tickle My Gooch | 405 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | W1tcheR | 400 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 326 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaccA | +1.77 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | W1tcheR | +1.66 | 86 | 61 |
| #3 | Pwasonce | +1.60 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | stoooj | +0.83 | 58 | 43 |
| #5 | Tickle My Gooch | -0.10 | 76 | 68 |





