








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3177 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3721 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4023 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2566 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,176,649 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 578 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tickle My Gooch | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | 7am | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | CobraDevil | 58% | 97 |
| #4 | barbell connoisseur | 53% | 236 |
| #5 | MaccA | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W1tcheR | 24 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | barbell connoisseur | 20 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | CobraDevil | 18 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Tickle My Gooch | 5 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barbell connoisseur | 701 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | CobraDevil | 364 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | MaccA | 285 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | W1tcheR | 246 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tickle My Gooch | 219 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑏𝑜𝑏𝑏𝑦 | +2.99 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | 7am | +2.92 | 95 | 46 |
| #3 | MaccA | +1.14 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | W1tcheR | +1.12 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Pwasonce | +1.02 | 70 | 53 |





