








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 858 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1369 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3832 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2568 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2377 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,825,227 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7am | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Tickle My Gooch | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | MaccA | 56% | 226 |
| #4 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 55% | 124 |
| #5 | W1tcheR | 54% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | barbell connoisseur | 52% | 196 |
| #7 | astro | 50% | 40 |
| #8 | CobraDevil | 50% | 146 |
| #9 | Pwasonce | 42% | 26 |
| #10 | Flowzyyx~ | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaccA | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | CobraDevil | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | barbell connoisseur | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | W1tcheR | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaccA | 1213 | 0.24 | 31 min |
| #2 | CobraDevil | 617 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | barbell connoisseur | 563 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 198 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | W1tcheR | 148 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7am | +3.11 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | MaccA | +2.35 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | stoooj | +1.02 | 59 | 42 |
| #4 | W1tcheR | +0.90 | 85 | 62 |
| #5 | astro | +0.73 | 71 | 67 |





