








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1062 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6854 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5137 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4863 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3067 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,883,342 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | astro | 53% | 91 |
| #8 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 52% | 180 |
| #9 | MaccA | 52% | 246 |
| #10 | Pwasonce | 50% | 140 |
| #11 | CobraDevil | 48% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CobraDevil | 37 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | barbell connoisseur | 22 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Pwasonce | 21 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | MaccA | 14 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaccA | 1233 | 0.22 | 31 min |
| #2 | barbell connoisseur | 906 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | CobraDevil | 849 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #4 | Pwasonce | 484 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | Tickle My Gooch | 447 | 0.24 | 11 min |





