








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2191 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1749 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1393 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1320 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,013 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex) | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | imtrxzey | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Darki ツ | 56% | 88 |
| #4 | LuckyMONKEY08 | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Materino™ | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | imtrxzey | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Darki ツ | 56% | 88 |
| #4 | LuckyMONKEY08 | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Materino™ | 55% | 31 |
| #6 | crimepayz | 53% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darki ツ | 17 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | crimepayz | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Alex) | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Materino™ | 5 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | LuckyMONKEY08 | 5 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darki ツ | 193 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Alex) | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | crimepayz | 91 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Materino™ | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | LuckyMONKEY08 | 25 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex) | +5.70 | 93 | 63 |
| #2 | Darki ツ | +3.22 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | crimepayz | +0.41 | 57 | 61 |
| #4 | Okaluga | +0.27 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | Materino™ | -0.98 | 44 | 54 |





