








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2783 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2064 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2643 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1979 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,428 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guad4lx | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Fab1uS | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | woro5k | 60% | 83 |
| #4 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | Lost Boy Joschi | 59% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Weixinator | 45% | 38 |
| #9 | Mongoose | 44% | 45 |
| #10 | LifoS | 44% | 43 |
| #11 | sugoi_milkies | 41% | 61 |
| #12 | Ge0rg | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woro5k | 12 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Lost Boy Joschi | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Mongoose | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | LifoS | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Ge0rg | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lost Boy Joschi | 225 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | sugoi_milkies | 109 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | LifoS | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Weixinator | 73 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | +3.12 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Lost Boy Joschi | +1.40 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | +0.98 | 46 | 74 |
| #4 | shm^tw | +0.31 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | KO1N | -0.09 | 48 | 77 |





