








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2940 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2596 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1646 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2034 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $504,836 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 873 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | 44% | 43 |
| #2 | Lost Boy Joschi | 44% | 57 |
| #3 | Fab1uS | 41% | 166 |
| #4 | no_cee | 40% | 30 |
| #5 | Mongoose | 37% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mongoose | 37% | 241 |
| #6 | sugoi_milkies | 33% | 120 |
| #7 | Weixinator | 33% | 228 |
| #8 | Nize ^-^ | 28% | 68 |
| #9 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongoose | 34 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Fab1uS | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Nize ^-^ | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Weixinator | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lost Boy Joschi | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fab1uS | 501 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | Mongoose | 393 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Weixinator | 365 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | sugoi_milkies | 347 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Lost Boy Joschi | 140 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | +4.13 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | Lost Boy Joschi | +3.16 | 70 | 58 |
| #3 | Fab1uS | +2.60 | 60 | 69 |
| #4 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | +1.98 | 59 | 73 |
| #5 | no_cee | +0.54 | 67 | 55 |





