








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2298 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2306 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2589 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2230 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,000 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assads plane crash | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | 1Fruity | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Geck | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | Lost Boy Joschi | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | Ge0rg | 42% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Fab1uS | 33% | 63 |
| #10 | LifoS | 33% | 120 |
| #11 | no_cee | 31% | 16 |
| #12 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 29% | 14 |
| #13 | Nize ^-^ | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LifoS | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Mongoose | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Geck | 8 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Lost Boy Joschi | 6 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LifoS | 303 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Weixinator | 238 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mongoose | 190 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fab1uS | 185 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | 144 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assads plane crash | +5.49 | 85 | 46 |
| #2 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | +4.41 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | 1Fruity | +4.26 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | Geck | +4.13 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | Lost Boy Joschi | +3.62 | 76 | 48 |





