








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 929 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 151 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1449 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3005 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3349 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2351 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,416 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1571 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | 60% | 83 |
| #2 | killedmyself | 58% | 52 |
| #3 | Lost Boy Joschi | 56% | 215 |
| #4 | guad4lx | 53% | 186 |
| #5 | KO1N | 52% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 28 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | KO1N | 26 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Lost Boy Joschi | 18 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Spitzweger Erich | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | OldSweat | 12 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 586 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | KO1N | 524 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | Lost Boy Joschi | 347 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | OldSweat | 306 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Geck | 234 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geck | +4.42 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | killedmyself | +3.68 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | +3.44 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | +2.32 | 58 | 71 |
| #5 | KO1N | +2.13 | 52 | 76 |





