








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2229 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1945 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3332 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1640 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,571 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geck | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | OldSweat | 60% | 58 |
| #3 | guad4lx | 60% | 80 |
| #4 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | 59% | 118 |
| #5 | woro5k | 56% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woro5k | 37 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | OldSweat | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | LifoS | 5 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | 326 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 276 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | woro5k | 162 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | LifoS | 142 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | KO1N | 134 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geck | +3.66 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | +3.00 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | Lost Boy Joschi | +2.24 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | +1.49 | 58 | 72 |
| #5 | KO1N | +1.33 | 48 | 76 |





