








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1703 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2275 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1976 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1572 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,526 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | getrektyshka | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | ArmoredHarp | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | UrethraXtremee | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Conath | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | mrshmlw- | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Conath | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | mrshmlw- | 50% | 46 |
| #6 | b1ess3d' | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | BOB | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | Tek | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | UrethraXtremee | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Conath | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | mrshmlw- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrshmlw- | 115 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | ArmoredHarp | 108 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | getrektyshka | 104 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Conath | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | BOB | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | +2.29 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | BOB | +1.66 | 96 | 62 |
| #3 | TrashPanda :) | +1.26 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | getrektyshka | +1.03 | 81 | 73 |
| #5 | mrshmlw- | +0.73 | 82 | 57 |





