








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 518 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 305 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3322 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3931 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3867 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3794 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,166,019 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BLÅHAJ | 55% | 53 |
| #5 | Cheesy ツ | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | OG Jakobus | 54% | 35 |
| #7 | Fcking Johannes | 54% | 52 |
| #8 | Tobi5826 | 53% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 481 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | Tobi5826 | 388 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | OG Jakobus | 112 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fcking Johannes | 111 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cheesy ツ | 101 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheesy ツ | +3.28 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +2.52 | 81 | 78 |
| #3 | Fcking Johannes | +2.41 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Tobi5826 | +1.78 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | OG Jakobus | +1.70 | 65 | 70 |





