








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1247 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1066 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1227 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1050 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,702 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 414 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Who is Mike? | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Rex0 | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | drpopers | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Peachy [S] | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | Blaine | 56% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | 2013 KennyT | 50% | 14 |
| #12 | William | 50% | 40 |
| #13 | breese | 48% | 31 |
| #14 | makku | 44% | 18 |
| #15 | Anaconda | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kranoli | 28 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | you know i keep that thang on me | 10 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | Blaine | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | CK | 6 | 0.0134 |
| #5 | Peachy [S] | 5 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kranoli | 511 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | William | 243 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #3 | Blaine | 231 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Peachy [S] | 173 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Rex0 | 111 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | William | +4.21 | 84 | 76 |
| #2 | Jacob | +2.74 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | Who is Mike? | +1.78 | 87 | 60 |
| #4 | Kranoli | +1.72 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | Peachy [S] | +1.06 | 76 | 60 |





