








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3273 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4083 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7269 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4679 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,083,377 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ninja Henn1ngS | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | Stulle | 52% | 214 |
| #3 | Schlag den Raab | 52% | 240 |
| #4 | TTTobi | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | ♕☠ Ruffy ☠♕ | 50% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TTTobi | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | ♕☠ Ruffy ☠♕ | 50% | 150 |
| #6 | radiobernd | 50% | 260 |
| #7 | SiLLE | 49% | 78 |
| #8 | MisterGroßbuchstaben | 46% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stulle | 49 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | radiobernd | 37 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | MisterGroßbuchstaben | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ♕☠ Ruffy ☠♕ | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Schlag den Raab | 9 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stulle | 476 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | MisterGroßbuchstaben | 346 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Schlag den Raab | 309 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | TTTobi | 250 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #5 | radiobernd | 152 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schlag den Raab | +1.63 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | Stulle | +1.27 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | JeromeJenkins | +0.70 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | radiobernd | +0.62 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | SiLLE | -0.11 | 80 | 48 |





