








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 895 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1168 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 146 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




111 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11786 | 23% |
| Smokes | 14334 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 13273 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 12059 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,094,662 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕☠ Ruffy ☠♕ | 53 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Stulle | 40 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | guter alter Mann Pettersson | 33 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | radiobernd | 29 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Schlag den Raab | 15 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToBrokén | 731 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #2 | ♕☠ Ruffy ☠♕ | 446 | 0.04 | 12 min |
| #3 | Stulle | 422 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | Schlag den Raab | 386 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | JeromeJenkins | 271 | 0.07 | 8 min |





