








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1712 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 381 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7151 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8586 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7909 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8864 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,019,415 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1753 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | szymus | 70% | 61 |
| #2 | M4rdik/. | 69% | 169 |
| #3 | Piiskop | 68% | 44 |
| #4 | Kirikuõpetaja | 65% | 371 |
| #5 | Nunnnn | 64% | 514 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuba | 2758 | 0.35 | 89 min |
| #2 | Nunnnn | 1794 | 0.17 | 46 min |
| #3 | speed-deemon | 911 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #4 | Kirikuõpetaja | 786 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #5 | M4rdik/. | 478 | 0.13 | 10 min |





