








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3265 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2957 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1066 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2167 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,317 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cratos | 67% | 124 |
| #2 | n♿s- | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Trick3n | 62% | 133 |
| #4 | rice in my veins | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | Xpla1N =) | 62% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pontic | 59% | 22 |
| #8 | legacy | 59% | 44 |
| #9 | techyyy | 56% | 41 |
| #10 | Dan | 52% | 31 |
| #11 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | techyyy | 9 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Cratos | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Trick3n | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Xpla1N =) | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | n♿s- | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trick3n | 757 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | Cratos | 430 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | techyyy | 211 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | Xpla1N =) | 209 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | legacy | 209 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | +3.19 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | Xpla1N =) | +2.04 | 83 | 55 |
| #3 | Cratos | +1.94 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | Trick3n | +1.81 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | aaa | +1.56 | 75 | 67 |





