








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4911 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3368 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1518 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3311 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $397,975 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xpla1N =) | 65% | 128 |
| #2 | n♿s- | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | Cratos | 64% | 271 |
| #4 | rice in my veins | 64% | 91 |
| #5 | Stolen Bird | 62% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cratos | 64% | 271 |
| #4 | rice in my veins | 64% | 91 |
| #5 | Stolen Bird | 62% | 133 |
| #6 | techyyy | 61% | 23 |
| #7 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cratos | 24 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Xpla1N =) | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Stolen Bird | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | rice in my veins | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | techyyy | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cratos | 901 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | Stolen Bird | 702 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #3 | rice in my veins | 362 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Xpla1N =) | 289 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | techyyy | 158 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cratos | +1.86 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | Trick3n | +1.79 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | Xpla1N =) | +1.75 | 85 | 53 |
| #4 | rice in my veins | +0.24 | 67 | 47 |
| #5 | techyyy | +0.12 | 84 | 53 |





