








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 227 matches | ||
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2652 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2971 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3005 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3248 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,021,950 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 917 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | YuKi Parker | 53% | 60 |
| #10 | werd | 52% | 81 |
| #11 | Yayo | 52% | 31 |
| #12 | stormK | 51% | 82 |
| #13 | Nucking Futs | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n♿s- | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Trick3n | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Cratos | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | YuKi Parker | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Stolen Bird | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trick3n | 713 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #2 | werd | 614 | 0.36 | 16 min |
| #3 | Stolen Bird | 526 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #4 | Cratos | 438 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | stormK | 344 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xpla1N =) | +3.34 | 87 | 50 |
| #2 | YuKi Parker | +2.06 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | Cratos | +1.59 | 81 | 54 |
| #4 | techyyy | +1.38 | 85 | 58 |
| #5 | Yayo | +1.24 | 85 | 71 |





