








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2905 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2373 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2100 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2082 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,187 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stolen Bird | 67% | 124 |
| #2 | techyyy | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Xpla1N =) | 65% | 134 |
| #4 | n♿s- | 64% | 42 |
| #5 | Trick3n | 64% | 271 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Xpla1N =) | 65% | 134 |
| #4 | n♿s- | 64% | 42 |
| #5 | Trick3n | 64% | 271 |
| #6 | rice in my veins | 63% | 121 |
| #7 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trick3n | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Xpla1N =) | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Stolen Bird | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | rice in my veins | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | n♿s- | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trick3n | 1578 | 0.28 | 37 min |
| #2 | Stolen Bird | 689 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #3 | rice in my veins | 499 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | Xpla1N =) | 296 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | n♿s- | 174 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cratos | +1.98 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | Xpla1N =) | +1.71 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | Trick3n | +1.62 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | techyyy | +0.59 | 84 | 60 |
| #5 | rice in my veins | +0.19 | 68 | 47 |





