








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4464 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3478 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3969 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3691 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $949,340 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | 75% | 40 |
| #2 | FAT BOI™ | 69% | 39 |
| #3 | divs2018 | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | Pontic | 64% | 84 |
| #5 | warn | 63% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | aaa | 60% | 97 |
| #11 | Tsamina mina | 60% | 84 |
| #12 | Stolen Bird | 59% | 44 |
| #13 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 56% | 50 |
| #14 | Sunny | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 18 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | techyyy | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Tsamina mina | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | warn | 5 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 1372 | 0.23 | 39 min |
| #2 | Tsamina mina | 548 | 0.31 | 14 min |
| #3 | aaa | 534 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #4 | techyyy | 492 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | Pontic | 377 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | +3.27 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Cryptic | +2.99 | 92 | 64 |
| #3 | FAT BOI™ | +1.59 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | rose | +1.44 | 81 | 54 |
| #5 | aaa | +1.01 | 80 | 63 |





