








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3872 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3619 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3414 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2186 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,241,574 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tanay2k | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | 6Foot6Mafia | 53% | 109 |
| #3 | Agent K77 | 52% | 91 |
| #4 | Femboy Lover | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | TheOneAnd0nly™ | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TheOneAnd0nly™ | 49% | 67 |
| #6 | Hybr13 | 49% | 166 |
| #7 | ButteredNipples | 48% | 64 |
| #8 | slimmote | 47% | 101 |
| #9 | Swisher Sweet But My Sig Sauer | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6Foot6Mafia | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Agent K77 | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | tanay2k | 8 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | Hybr13 | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | slimmote | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hybr13 | 701 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | 6Foot6Mafia | 483 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | Agent K77 | 215 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | slimmote | 190 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | tanay2k | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | we officially bussin | +1.45 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | Swisher Sweet But My Sig Sauer | +0.99 | 66 | 31 |
| #3 | 6Foot6Mafia | +0.83 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | tanay2k | +0.73 | 79 | 50 |
| #5 | Agent K77 | +0.03 | 75 | 58 |





