








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1338 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1881 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 913 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1548 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,079,299 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gascaN | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Windy | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | EchoScorpion | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | anonyweed | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | deamonkeeper | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | jon pictogram jones | 42% | 36 |
| #11 | Pugstir | 40% | 62 |
| #12 | Bentley | 37% | 49 |
| #13 | cmc | 32% | 19 |
| #14 | ImLowOnAmmo | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deamonkeeper | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | jon pictogram jones | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Pugstir | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Bentley | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | cyberdeath | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TsD FoxDie | 205 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | TsD ARThxr 999 | 181 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pugstir | 145 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | cyberdeath | 143 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | jon pictogram jones | 90 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anonyweed | +2.42 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | gascaN | +1.84 | 55 | 70 |
| #3 | Windy | +1.43 | 36 | 74 |
| #4 | Crunch Punch | +1.17 | 56 | 43 |
| #5 | TsD ARThxr 999 | +0.62 | 61 | 61 |





