








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 332 matches | ||
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3698 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5338 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2933 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3060 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,480 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anonyweed | 54% | 69 |
| #2 | Windy | 49% | 97 |
| #3 | Crunch Punch | 46% | 122 |
| #4 | TsD ARThxr 999 | 46% | 134 |
| #5 | jon pictogram jones | 45% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Bentley | 40% | 169 |
| #14 | BIG VERT | 40% | 58 |
| #15 | cmc | 37% | 120 |
| #16 | Spoon | 36% | 39 |
| #17 | marble | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cmc | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | deamonkeeper | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | TsD FoxDie | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Windy | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Bentley | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TsD FoxDie | 795 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | Thedoc | 565 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | gascaN | 506 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | TsD ARThxr 999 | 486 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | Pugstir | 418 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anonyweed | +3.27 | 55 | 70 |
| #2 | marble | +2.56 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | gascaN | +2.19 | 62 | 69 |
| #4 | Thedoc | +2.13 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | Windy | +1.80 | 41 | 73 |





