








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 833 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 198 matches | ||
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2981 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1685 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3079 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3131 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,863,420 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoJo | 59 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | munch | 50 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Scots_men | 23 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | etalS | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Goobert | 11 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etalS | 576 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | austin | 442 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #3 | dandrews | 194 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | munch | 189 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Apoyyo | 183 | 0.06 | 3 min |





