








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 300 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




118 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1095 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1535 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1435 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1858 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,163,175 of utility $347 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VinnieBB | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | Not Pol0 | 60% | 113 |
| #3 | Tech | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | meh-deen | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | skaoud | 50% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | -yd | 41% | 54 |
| #13 | ♡ $ÎĻЌЎ ♡ | 40% | 65 |
| #14 | Scots_men | 36% | 98 |
| #15 | Elton John's Schlong | 33% | 45 |
| #16 | etalS | 33% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skaoud | 56 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | Not Pol0 | 33 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | meh-deen | 30 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | hvnlypeach | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | -yd | 8 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Pol0 | +7.56 | 93 | 80 |
| #2 | VinnieBB | +4.64 | 84 | 35 |
| #3 | Tech | +4.49 | 88 | 60 |
| #4 | meh-deen | +2.32 | 79 | 53 |
| #5 | skaoud | +2.08 | 88 | 47 |





