








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1953 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 649 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 603 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




175 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
21684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5137 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4606 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3339 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3418 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,638,311 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken | 77% | 146 |
| #2 | chris | 55% | 161 |
| #3 | ankle biter | 52% | 94 |
| #4 | MEGA ❤︎ methpuppy | 46% | 114 |
| #5 | alexsntsv | 44% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | alexsntsv | 44% | 107 |
| #6 | Scots_men | 40% | 156 |
| #7 | hvnlypeach | 37% | 199 |
| #8 | Goobert | 37% | 221 |
| #9 | fample | 30% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hvnlypeach | 38 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | ankle biter | 24 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | Goobert | 23 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Scots_men | 17 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | MEGA ❤︎ methpuppy | 15 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken | 675 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | chris | 561 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | alexsntsv | 175 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | MEGA ❤︎ methpuppy | 131 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | fample | 101 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken | +4.65 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | chris | +2.20 | 70 | 55 |
| #3 | fample | +1.03 | 63 | 30 |
| #4 | JoJo | +1.02 | 52 | 40 |
| #5 | MEGA ❤︎ methpuppy | -0.21 | 79 | 50 |





