








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 97 | 7% |
| Smokes | 211 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 211 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 806 | 61% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,026 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KungFoy ♡ | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | Lejean James | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | chris | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | ankle biter | 48% | 52 |
| #5 | -yd | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hvnlypeach | 38 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | JoJo | 28 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | munch | 22 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | ankle biter | 17 | 0.0171 |
| #5 | Goobert | 11 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chris | 314 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | etalS | 282 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | hvnlypeach | 267 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | dandrews | 122 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | grandma | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lejean James | +5.28 | 69 | 56 |
| #2 | dandrews | +3.47 | 65 | 61 |
| #3 | -yd | +3.05 | 54 | 40 |
| #4 | chris | +2.56 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | fample | +2.23 | 73 | 51 |





