








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3628 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3337 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2054 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2110 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,175,427 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 897 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | SlipperZ | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Mula Hwaka | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | hannah | 48% | 106 |
| #5 | property in Egypt | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hannah | 22 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 7 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | SlipperZ | 5 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | property in Egypt | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hannah | 378 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 199 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | property in Egypt | 64 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | SlipperZ | 64 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hannah | +5.48 | 81 | 51 |
| #2 | SlipperZ | +4.15 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | +3.16 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | Mula Hwaka | +1.53 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | ineedahiro | +1.40 | 68 | 62 |





