








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 904 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4942 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4356 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 6168 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 11495 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,951,775 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5656 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | property in Egypt | 50% | 88 |
| #2 | communist propaganda | 47% | 193 |
| #3 | Tsumabuki Right (twink) | 44% | 329 |
| #4 | hannah | 42% | 123 |
| #5 | meow | 42% | 393 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow | 577 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | hannah | 393 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Tsumabuki Right (twink) | 369 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | communist propaganda | 228 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | property in Egypt | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hannah | +7.98 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | meow | +5.10 | 66 | 36 |
| #3 | property in Egypt | +0.89 | 49 | 44 |
| #4 | duffrose | -0.15 | 42 | 37 |
| #5 | communist propaganda | -0.16 | 16 | 27 |





