








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1795 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




302 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
22248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 53,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13938 | 26% |
| Smokes | 14150 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9879 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 15361 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,570,828 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3059 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karma | 77% | 411 |
| #2 | im not him | 68% | 203 |
| #3 | Maniel iniwee | 68% | 242 |
| #4 | jerry | 66% | 197 |
| #5 | Noobius (Pro Bottom Fragger) | 65% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jerry | 66% | 197 |
| #5 | Noobius (Pro Bottom Fragger) | 65% | 103 |
| #6 | Kola | 62% | 384 |
| #7 | ♥_Snapdragon_OG♥ | 61% | 112 |
| #8 | Mandingo | 60% | 460 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maniel iniwee | 133 | 0.0262 |
| #2 | Kola | 86 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Mandingo | 65 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | im not him | 29 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | karma | 25 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maniel iniwee | 1541 | 0.30 | 34 min |
| #2 | Kola | 1519 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #3 | im not him | 979 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #4 | karma | 877 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #5 | Mandingo | 594 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karma | +4.96 | 88 | 55 |
| #2 | Maniel iniwee | +4.48 | 92 | 48 |
| #3 | xrx: | +2.62 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | im not him | +1.47 | 49 | 63 |
| #5 | jerry | +1.21 | 71 | 63 |





