








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1481 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




286 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9205 | 23% |
| Smokes | 11609 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 9614 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 10379 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,044,313 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4458 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karma | 75% | 101 |
| #2 | Crude | 65% | 93 |
| #3 | xrx: | 60% | 460 |
| #4 | ♥_Snapdragon_OG♥ | 60% | 135 |
| #5 | jerry | 58% | 535 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Noobius (Pro Bottom Fragger) | 57% | 459 |
| #10 | Kita | 56% | 324 |
| #11 | 𝑺𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒉𝑨 | 54% | 127 |
| #12 | ❤ wolf's ❤ | 53% | 293 |
| #13 | *+-Zerry-+* ( using temu mouse ) | 53% | 449 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kola | 2335 | 0.23 | 53 min |
| #2 | jerry | 1646 | 0.16 | 43 min |
| #3 | *+-Zerry-+* ( using temu mouse ) | 1019 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #4 | Noobius (Pro Bottom Fragger) | 962 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #5 | xrx: | 955 | 0.11 | 22 min |





