








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4802 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3410 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4414 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5163 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,900 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1611 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ymcmb | 90% | 42 |
| #2 | psykosage | 89% | 37 |
| #3 | im not him | 84% | 37 |
| #4 | jerry | 83% | 65 |
| #5 | Kola | 82% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Maniel iniwee | 75% | 73 |
| #9 | Mandingo | 75% | 101 |
| #10 | Noobius (Pro Bottom Fragger) | 75% | 40 |
| #11 | ✪Jean^^ | 74% | 31 |
| #12 | ParadoxGoos | 71% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xrx: | 89 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Mandingo | 34 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | Maniel iniwee | 28 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | Kola | 20 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | "Smoky2k" | 15 | 0.0250 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xrx: | 1023 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #2 | Maniel iniwee | 472 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #3 | Kola | 332 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | jerry | 244 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | ParadoxGoos | 195 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maniel iniwee | +4.80 | 92 | 59 |
| #2 | karma | +4.37 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | ParadoxGoos | +3.85 | 85 | 76 |
| #4 | psykosage | +3.34 | 84 | 46 |
| #5 | "Smoky2k" | +2.92 | 75 | 76 |





