








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1088 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 723 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12720 | 41% |
| Smokes | 6789 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2257 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 9080 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,133,142 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karma | 83% | 65 |
| #2 | ♥_Snapdragon_OG♥ | 67% | 104 |
| #3 | xrx: | 66% | 197 |
| #4 | Mandingo | 58% | 535 |
| #5 | Kola | 58% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mandingo | 75 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | xrx: | 35 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Kola | 32 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | ❤ wolf's ❤ | 23 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | *+-Zerry-+* ( using temu mouse ) | 20 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kola | 927 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mandingo | 865 | 0.08 | 24 min |
| #3 | xrx: | 485 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | ♥_Snapdragon_OG♥ | 317 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | Noobius (Pro Bottom Fragger) | 291 | 0.13 | 6 min |





