








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2480 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1366 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 827 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1283 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,071,825 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 429 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rocketman_24 | 52% | 60 |
| #6 | -Pin | 50% | 105 |
| #7 | Shuxz | 49% | 63 |
| #8 | JustKingRuslan | 48% | 60 |
| #9 | D3VN | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakeWomenLuvr | 15 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | -Pin | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | supreme commander | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Shuxz | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Rocketman_24 | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Pin | 607 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #2 | Rocketman_24 | 171 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | supreme commander | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | fakeWomenLuvr | 114 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | JustKingRuslan | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |





