








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1692 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1265 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 904 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 223 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $288,312 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Packman | 52% | 60 |
| #6 | supreme commander | 50% | 30 |
| #7 | Jae | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | Shuxz | 47% | 19 |
| #9 | -Pin | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Packman | 191 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | -Pin | 178 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Shuxz | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | supreme commander | 30 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jae | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |





