








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1656 | 35% |
| Smokes | 339 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1824 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 878 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,928 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ignas | 69% | 55 |
| #2 | PhxR | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | purpol | 62% | 50 |
| #4 | negative | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | yeatfan45 | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ุ | 53% | 70 |
| #10 | Salieras | 53% | 114 |
| #11 | ybf | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | salieras | 39% | 23 |
| #13 | Seskus | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salieras | 44 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | scarfz | 22 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | ุ | 16 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | purpol | 13 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | salieras | 11 | 0.0242 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salieras | 635 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #2 | scarfz | 260 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | ʝυɱριɳɠIʂNσƚACɾιɱҽ | 163 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | purpol | 145 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | salieras | 142 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhxR | +1.99 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | Salieras | +1.97 | 87 | 57 |
| #3 | scarfz | +1.37 | 86 | 51 |
| #4 | Freaky bob | +1.15 | 81 | 52 |
| #5 | salieras | +0.87 | 93 | 59 |





