








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




127 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3365 | 45% |
| Smokes | 919 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2254 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 929 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $765,986 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky bob | 62% | 50 |
| #2 | Ignas | 60% | 52 |
| #3 | PhxR | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | ʝυɱριɳɠIʂNσƚACɾιɱҽ | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | ุ | 51% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | scarfz | 48% | 113 |
| #8 | Seskus | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | salieras | 44% | 126 |
| #10 | Torment | 42% | 50 |
| #11 | homophober | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salieras | 58 | 0.0209 |
| #2 | salieras | 50 | 0.0199 |
| #3 | scarfz | 38 | 0.0164 |
| #4 | ุ | 27 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | Seskus | 15 | 0.0199 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salieras | 756 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #2 | salieras | 702 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #3 | scarfz | 226 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ʝυɱριɳɠIʂNσƚACɾιɱҽ | 195 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Freaky bob | 141 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salieras | +3.50 | 93 | 54 |
| #2 | scarfz | +3.01 | 90 | 43 |
| #3 | PhxR | +2.42 | 86 | 50 |
| #4 | salieras | +1.93 | 92 | 58 |
| #5 | Seskus | +1.26 | 94 | 53 |





