








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1226 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1961 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1886 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 740 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $979,486 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 545 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhxR | 77% | 87 |
| #2 | negative | 74% | 43 |
| #3 | ุ | 74% | 65 |
| #4 | Freaky bob | 69% | 55 |
| #5 | ybf | 64% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | purpol | 60% | 52 |
| #10 | Salieras | 55% | 33 |
| #11 | Vilius | 48% | 27 |
| #12 | yeatfan45 | 47% | 17 |
| #13 | nh | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfz | 46 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | ʝυɱριɳɠIʂNσƚACɾιɱҽ | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | purpol | 10 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Salieras | 10 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | ybf | 9 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfz | 321 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | ʝυɱριɳɠIʂNσƚACɾιɱҽ | 255 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Salieras | 174 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | PhxR | 163 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Freaky bob | 136 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhxR | +3.92 | 88 | 51 |
| #2 | scarfz | +2.95 | 87 | 40 |
| #3 | Freaky bob | +2.80 | 87 | 50 |
| #4 | Salieras | +2.69 | 76 | 48 |
| #5 | bob | +1.89 | 61 | 55 |





